Tiny Steps

This week had more frustrations from, guess where, LoanTown!  After a promising telephone call after 7 last Friday night from Chris the “draft processor” at M&T Bank, I thought getting the drafts (checks) for the renovation part of the loan was going to go smoothly.

Ha.

Wrong!  I get the happy trio together to do our first inspection, required for the draft request.  That trio is yours truly, Steve the contractor, and Dan the HUD inspector.  Dan and Steve have the work write-ups that were completed many moons ago, and submitted as part of the loan, and they check off everything that’s done.  Somethings are only 95% done, so Dan says we only get 95% of the cost allotted.  Then, on top of that, 10% of each line item is held back until the end.  When all is said and done, over $15,000 worth of work has been completed – over half of the amount I borrowed for renovations.

Awesome, right?  Well, sort of.  Because I ask Chris the next day if he received the paperwork, and he says “Yes, but . . .”  Guys, I don’t know about you, but I hate “Yes, but.” There is this apparent policy or rule or, I don’t know, bullshit, that if your draw is over 50%, the bank needs a second title search.  Why?  I don’t know.  Ass-covering, probably.  I don’t know how I’d manage to encumber this house further having taken out so much money between this mortgage and my student loans that my debt to income ration is officially a joke, so that must not be it.  I guess they are worried about liens from contractors, but that too makes no sense because Steve signed a lien waiver and besides, GIMME MY MONEY!

I wrote that in an email to Chris along with some of my favorite expletives (but not the f-bomb, because I do have some sense), a few ridiculous hyperboles, and the request that he not placate me or apologize.  I tried to convey anger and hysteria.  😉  It worked – a little while later I got word that the check would be UPS’d to me.  Oh, I also had to drop the whole, “I’m an attorney,” thing.  I hate using that; I don’t think you should only provide good customer service based upon the threat of a lawsuit from an asshole attorney.

Anyhow, I have been on a spray painting kick!  I showed you the porch lights, now I have the house numbers done.  Before, the numbers were a really tarnished brass and they were offset and diagonally descending.  A very reliable source told me that is not good feng shui, and we cannot have that.

I bought a little placard at Ace at Seaboard Station.  When I’m done and moved in, I owe half of their staff a beer.  Today they let me in when they were closed because I knew I just wanted to by a wire stripper and I would pay with a debit card.  They are darlings and I love them.  Anyway, I painted my little sign with the same exterior paint I used on the front door. I spray painted the brass – sacrilege, I know!  But I’m not a fan of brass, and I am a fan of reusing what I have.  I measured and measured and leveled and then drilled pilot holes for the numbers – they have holes top and bottom.  Then I realized I didn’t have the right sized screws for them at home – I have no idea what I did with the screws that were in them.  Oh wait, yes I do.  They were corroded so I tossed them.  Quick trip to Lowes to see George, my favorite cashier, and I was home with the proper screws.  I added some wire to the back to hang it.  I used the pre-existing concrete anchors on the facade of the house, popped in a screw, et voila!  Happy little house numbers.

I have to finish up the mailbox tomorrow.  I have no idea what would happen if it weren’t back up on Monday, but I feel like I’d get a ticket from the mail man.  I need to sand the first coat of paint a bit and do a second on the top of the box before I hang it up again.  I made an executive decision, because I am the boss of this house, to take the little newspaper hanger thingermajiggers off of the box.  They pop right off.  Why do we still have those things around?  The paper gets thrown on the driveway, not delicately placed under the mailbox.  That’s so last century.

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